Today was a boring day. Not bad, just boring. I used to long for boredom. I was so freaked out within myself, boredom seemed safe. Now I'm not so freaked out. I am grateful for that.
I arrived on time to work today and I stayed until 5:55pm. A good worker. Now I am home and eating smoked turkey slices with wasabi mayonnaise, resisting the half bottle of red wine that sits in my make-shift kitchen cupboard, and I am thinking about what to eat next. Oatmeal, leftover chicken breast from a Mother's Day barbeque on Sunday, or roasted pepper soup.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
More Blonde
3:07pm
I assembled thirty-one Fed Ex boxes at work today and went home. Worked out, went to Ralph's, bought an overcooked chicken breast for $1.99, and in an hour I have a hair appointment at Shampoo to go more blonde.
I should really cancel. I'm not feeling well. Itchy throat, achy between the shoulder blades. The worst part about it is I can't see my nephew. Can't get the little guy sick. Not seeing him sucks. It really does.
I assembled thirty-one Fed Ex boxes at work today and went home. Worked out, went to Ralph's, bought an overcooked chicken breast for $1.99, and in an hour I have a hair appointment at Shampoo to go more blonde.
I should really cancel. I'm not feeling well. Itchy throat, achy between the shoulder blades. The worst part about it is I can't see my nephew. Can't get the little guy sick. Not seeing him sucks. It really does.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Women On Top
6:57pm
Left work early today. Home now eating Spicy Ranchero Egg White Salad from Trader Joe's. Spooky weather today, hot and windy. A dusty wind. Anthony has rehearsal tonight. I'm staying in. Will read, write and watch the results for American Idol.
Last night 'girl's night in' was cancelled. Well, Steph, she cancelled. But my sister and I, we made a night of it at Barnes and Nobles. I hung out in the fiction section and picked up a book called, Women On Top. An anthology of erotic fiction by women. Dante, she hung out in the Self Improvement area. I joined her there later and we read John Gray's, 'When Mars and Venus Collide.'
After that I went home, ate two bowls of oatmeal, watched half an episode of Seinfeld and went to bed.
Left work early today. Home now eating Spicy Ranchero Egg White Salad from Trader Joe's. Spooky weather today, hot and windy. A dusty wind. Anthony has rehearsal tonight. I'm staying in. Will read, write and watch the results for American Idol.
Last night 'girl's night in' was cancelled. Well, Steph, she cancelled. But my sister and I, we made a night of it at Barnes and Nobles. I hung out in the fiction section and picked up a book called, Women On Top. An anthology of erotic fiction by women. Dante, she hung out in the Self Improvement area. I joined her there later and we read John Gray's, 'When Mars and Venus Collide.'
After that I went home, ate two bowls of oatmeal, watched half an episode of Seinfeld and went to bed.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Girl's Night In
7:01pm
What happened today?
Let's see -
Anthony built a wall. He's building a writing shack in Mount Washington, on his sister's property.
"Every man," he told me, "Every man in his life time should build a home with his own two hands."
His sister, she lives in one of those houses that is built on a hill on stilts and that's where Anthony has decided to build his shack. It's complicated because of the slope, but he's figuring it out. Until today, it was just the deck. Now, according to him, there is the wall.
"I need your help," he told me when he called earlier to tell me that the wall had been built. "It's not standing yet, that's where you come in. I need you to hold the wall in place while I secure it."
His deadline has been pushed to Christmas. Originally, it was the end of the summer.
"But the problem," he told me, "Is I need to get it done before the cold sets in."
My sister told me that he must have found the only girl in Los Angeles as unmaterialistic as me.
What else?
Well, today at work I actually worked. That is unusually for me. Normally I wander around. Go to Ghetto Von's, Walgreen’s, check my blood pressure at Rite Aid, visit my sister. It's weird, the working thing, it wasn't so bad.
What are the plans for this evening?
It's girl's night in. My sister, Steph and me, we'll probably ask the pink ball a few questions . . . like, "Does so and so love me?" Or, "Will I lose five pounds by August?"
Other than that, I'm not sure. We may go out, even though that's not really girl's night in. My sister, she wants to go to the bookstore, Steph, she probably doesn't want to go to the bookstore since she doesn't read (that's what she says) and me, I want to go to The Grove. That guy, the cute, blonde gay guy from 'Dancing with the Stars,' he's performing there tonight. I'm sure my sister and Steph, they'll be up for that.
7:25pm
Anthony just called.
"I got a gig," he said. "It's at the Rose Bowl."
"That's great," I said.
"It's in August," he said.
August. Okay. It's his first gig.
What happened today?
Let's see -
Anthony built a wall. He's building a writing shack in Mount Washington, on his sister's property.
"Every man," he told me, "Every man in his life time should build a home with his own two hands."
His sister, she lives in one of those houses that is built on a hill on stilts and that's where Anthony has decided to build his shack. It's complicated because of the slope, but he's figuring it out. Until today, it was just the deck. Now, according to him, there is the wall.
"I need your help," he told me when he called earlier to tell me that the wall had been built. "It's not standing yet, that's where you come in. I need you to hold the wall in place while I secure it."
His deadline has been pushed to Christmas. Originally, it was the end of the summer.
"But the problem," he told me, "Is I need to get it done before the cold sets in."
My sister told me that he must have found the only girl in Los Angeles as unmaterialistic as me.
What else?
Well, today at work I actually worked. That is unusually for me. Normally I wander around. Go to Ghetto Von's, Walgreen’s, check my blood pressure at Rite Aid, visit my sister. It's weird, the working thing, it wasn't so bad.
What are the plans for this evening?
It's girl's night in. My sister, Steph and me, we'll probably ask the pink ball a few questions . . . like, "Does so and so love me?" Or, "Will I lose five pounds by August?"
Other than that, I'm not sure. We may go out, even though that's not really girl's night in. My sister, she wants to go to the bookstore, Steph, she probably doesn't want to go to the bookstore since she doesn't read (that's what she says) and me, I want to go to The Grove. That guy, the cute, blonde gay guy from 'Dancing with the Stars,' he's performing there tonight. I'm sure my sister and Steph, they'll be up for that.
7:25pm
Anthony just called.
"I got a gig," he said. "It's at the Rose Bowl."
"That's great," I said.
"It's in August," he said.
August. Okay. It's his first gig.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Rice-Cakes and Straight Hair
Later -
Rice-cakes, yeah right.
Since then I've eaten a Chocolate Mint Zone Bar, a package of Swedish Fish, two thick slices of Monterey Jack cheese, four slices of processed ham, a cup of Neapolitan ice-cream, two dill pickles and a maraschino cherry. Now I am resisting the urge to walk to Trader Joe's and buy ginger snaps and white wine. Oh yeah, on my excursion out into the world earlier and away from food - I bought a straight iron at Target. Or is it called a flat iron? I think so.
That's it, the end of this unkept rat's nest hair of mine. I will take the time and straighten it! I swear, I will. I'm tired of this unkept look.
How do you use a flat iron anyway?
8:02pm
I just walked over to Trader Joe's. Wine (from Chile for $2.95), eggs, cream, and a bag of ginger snaps. As I was leaving to go to Trader Joe's Anthony said, "Two minutes until half-time. If you wait I'll go with you."
But I was in too much of a rush to get to my ginger snaps to wait. I ate the whole damn bag walking the seven blocks home. And who do I see as I'm shoveling the snaps into my face? Matisse. A guy I had a thing for when I worked at Louis IX, a restaurant on La Brea off Melrose. I thought he had a thing for me too. But I guess not.
Walking by him this evening I asked, "Didn't you used to work at Louis IX?"
He was standing outside a French Bistro smoking a cigarette.
"Yes," he said, flicking the cigarette to the pavement and leaving it to burn out by itself.
There was no recognition at all. None.
"My name is Chloe," I said. "You used to pick me up and swing me around and tell the whole restaurant that I was your wife."
I looked at him. He looked more handsome now. Not as bloated. He looked at me. Blank. Worse than blank. Complete disinterest.
Rice-cakes, yeah right.
Since then I've eaten a Chocolate Mint Zone Bar, a package of Swedish Fish, two thick slices of Monterey Jack cheese, four slices of processed ham, a cup of Neapolitan ice-cream, two dill pickles and a maraschino cherry. Now I am resisting the urge to walk to Trader Joe's and buy ginger snaps and white wine. Oh yeah, on my excursion out into the world earlier and away from food - I bought a straight iron at Target. Or is it called a flat iron? I think so.
That's it, the end of this unkept rat's nest hair of mine. I will take the time and straighten it! I swear, I will. I'm tired of this unkept look.
How do you use a flat iron anyway?
8:02pm
I just walked over to Trader Joe's. Wine (from Chile for $2.95), eggs, cream, and a bag of ginger snaps. As I was leaving to go to Trader Joe's Anthony said, "Two minutes until half-time. If you wait I'll go with you."
But I was in too much of a rush to get to my ginger snaps to wait. I ate the whole damn bag walking the seven blocks home. And who do I see as I'm shoveling the snaps into my face? Matisse. A guy I had a thing for when I worked at Louis IX, a restaurant on La Brea off Melrose. I thought he had a thing for me too. But I guess not.
Walking by him this evening I asked, "Didn't you used to work at Louis IX?"
He was standing outside a French Bistro smoking a cigarette.
"Yes," he said, flicking the cigarette to the pavement and leaving it to burn out by itself.
There was no recognition at all. None.
"My name is Chloe," I said. "You used to pick me up and swing me around and tell the whole restaurant that I was your wife."
I looked at him. He looked more handsome now. Not as bloated. He looked at me. Blank. Worse than blank. Complete disinterest.
Rice-Cake Diet Time
Eagle Rock – Tony's mom's house
6:10 pm
Doing my laundry. Tony is watching the Laker’s, I’m resisting what’s left of the ice-cream in the freezer. Feeling fat, bloated. Ate a cookies n’cream sundae and a cookies n’cream homemade milkshake. Needed to get out of the house so I wouldn’t eat anymore – made a trip to the Goodwill and bought a black, backless dress, a pair of Red-Hot jean shorts – Daisy Duke style – and an Anne Taylor pinstriped silk blouse.
Okay, the rest of the day I will eat nothing but rice-cakes.
6:10 pm
Doing my laundry. Tony is watching the Laker’s, I’m resisting what’s left of the ice-cream in the freezer. Feeling fat, bloated. Ate a cookies n’cream sundae and a cookies n’cream homemade milkshake. Needed to get out of the house so I wouldn’t eat anymore – made a trip to the Goodwill and bought a black, backless dress, a pair of Red-Hot jean shorts – Daisy Duke style – and an Anne Taylor pinstriped silk blouse.
Okay, the rest of the day I will eat nothing but rice-cakes.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Ice-Cream Issues
Tonight I’m supposed to go to my boyfriend’s mother’s house. I like going over there. It’s in Eagle Rock, near my favorite Target. But tonight, I’m not so sure about going over. My boyfriend knows I have ice-cream issues and warned me that his mom has Breyer’s Cookies N’Cream in the freezer.
“I can’t go over there,” I told him. “Not until that ice-cream is gone. I’ll eat it all.”
Right now it’s up in the air about what we’re going to do tonight. I mean, if I go over there I will blow my diet. But it’s Friday night, right? And I want to see him and the ice-cream sounds good and he always drives over to my place.
“I can’t go over there,” I told him. “Not until that ice-cream is gone. I’ll eat it all.”
Right now it’s up in the air about what we’re going to do tonight. I mean, if I go over there I will blow my diet. But it’s Friday night, right? And I want to see him and the ice-cream sounds good and he always drives over to my place.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Food Issues
I can't live with food in the house. Not even oatmeal. I used to be able to live with oatmeal as long as there wasn't honey around. I don't know what changed that.
I don't know how my sister does it. She lives with pecans, cashews, almonds, macadamia nuts, dried apricots, raisins, cake batter, cheese, peanut butter - actually, the peanut butter is a problem for her.
"I told the roommate to hide it in his room," she told me. "I can't live with it. It's a trigger food."
Peanut butter would be difficult for me too. But still, my sister has those, 'This Strawberry Walks into a Bar,' in her cupboard. I love those things. 'This Blueberry Walks into a Bar' are good too.
And the thing is, I'm getting worse, not better with age.
Food issues.
I don't know how my sister does it. She lives with pecans, cashews, almonds, macadamia nuts, dried apricots, raisins, cake batter, cheese, peanut butter - actually, the peanut butter is a problem for her.
"I told the roommate to hide it in his room," she told me. "I can't live with it. It's a trigger food."
Peanut butter would be difficult for me too. But still, my sister has those, 'This Strawberry Walks into a Bar,' in her cupboard. I love those things. 'This Blueberry Walks into a Bar' are good too.
And the thing is, I'm getting worse, not better with age.
Food issues.
Monday, April 27, 2009
I've wanted to be many things . . . actress, ballet dancer, stripper
I've wanted to be many things in my life.
An actress.
A ballet dancer.
A stripper.
A hooker.
And a girlfriend to many guys.
But what have I done?
Not much.
Where am I now?
I work at a law school. I have no special talents. I'm not incredibly good looking, smart, or driven.
But here I am, living my life in Los Angeles.
On a normal day I weigh 132 pounds. On a bad day 135. And on a good day, 129. But that is not very often.
I like sugar and cable. And cute guys.
I also like hanging out with my nephew. He is one year and one week old. His name is Amedeo and he's the cutest thing in the whole world. I mean it. I know a lot of people say that, that their own children or nephews etc. etc. are so damn cute, but my nephew, he really is. EVERYBODY says so!
What else do I do?
I hang out at my sister's, A LOT. Too much, really. I go there straight after work and sometimes I go before and even during work. I get to work and I leave. I have a great job like that. Nobody knows where I am at anytime. I like it that way.
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